Scoop, squeeze and pull
Where do I begin? I have so many things to you all about that I don't know where to start. Well, I think I'll just go day by day.
Saturday: This was THE day. That's right, I finally did my male genital/rectal exams. Let me preface this by saying that the workshop was really helpful and I learned a lot from it. That being said, it was so unrealistic. So, here's how it worked. We were split into groups of 2-3 and rotated to 4 stations. At each station we were all to preform some/all of the exam. Okay, so that is all we were told. In the first room, my group walked in and sat down to wait for the "patient" to arrive. Said patient enters, proceeds to pull out his own personal lube, squeeze out three globs of it and then drops his pants. Okie, dokie. He then tells us that we will all be "isolating his testicles" and doing a rectal exam on him. Isolating his testicles? That doesn't sound pleasant. He then demonstrates, on himself, the "scissor method." Here's his instructions, and I quote, "Use your left hand to scoop the testicle and make a scissor-like motion with your right to push excess skin down and pull the testicle away from the penis." Okay, I know I don't have many men reading this, but come on. Doesn't it make you cringe to think of a scissor maneuver and testicles? Then we proceed to the rectal exam. All goes well until we starts having a discussion with me while my finger is still in his butt. At one point I'm like, "Would you like me to remove my finger?" "Oh no," he says, "go ahead and feel around." When we enter the next room, we walk in to see an old man sitting on a stool with no pants/underwear on reading a newpaper and drinking coffee. Just like it is completely normal to have a roomful of people see you without clothes. This room was the "genital exam" room. It went off without a hitch except for when he asked me to clip my fingernails. The next two stations we were supposed to just do the whole exam from start to finish. These mock exams were a little unrealistic in that the men were giving us pointers on whether or not we were feeling their prostate and how to maneuver their testicles. All and all though and interesting way to spend a Saturday morning. I joke about it, but really it is pretty nice that these guys volunteered for this so that I wasn't practicing all of this for the first time on a real patient.
Sunday: Not much too exciting. Did buy a new painting for my living room. It was originally going to go in the bedroom, but when I got it home it just looked better in the living room. Now my living room smells like canvas/paint/wood. It's interesting, I never really thought about the fact that I would be able to smell the canvas like that having it hanging over the couch. It's not a bad odor though.
Monday: Well, it's now that I think about what I was going to say about Monday it sounds a little silly but here goes. There's this person in my class who basically had a nervous breakdown and is going through a lot of emotional problems. S/he is extremely quiet and not very good with people and not sure that medical school is what s/he wants to do. So I've been talking to him/her about it. Basically, s/he wants the psychiatrist to tell them exactly how to be more confident and outgoing and give him/her drugs to make them feel better. I told M (that's much easier) that wasn't realistic. That right now it's more important to get through this crisis and then work on social and communication skills. I also said some other stuff but won't bore you with that. After seeing the psychiatrist M said they told her exactly what I had said. I guess my point is that this is making me think that I am good at this and should go into psychiatry? I'm still not sure but this is the "specialty of the week" for me now.
Tuesday: I finally break 100 in my bowling league. I know, that isn't that great but it is very exciting for me. I bowled by best game ever.
Today: Practiced acupunture on each other. It was actually kind of neat. I could really feel heat where the needles were placed. It's funny how the Chinese seem at first to go against all of Western medical teachings but they really work in some cases. I think people are too quick to reject alternative medicines.
I'll stop here before I ramble on too much.
Saturday: This was THE day. That's right, I finally did my male genital/rectal exams. Let me preface this by saying that the workshop was really helpful and I learned a lot from it. That being said, it was so unrealistic. So, here's how it worked. We were split into groups of 2-3 and rotated to 4 stations. At each station we were all to preform some/all of the exam. Okay, so that is all we were told. In the first room, my group walked in and sat down to wait for the "patient" to arrive. Said patient enters, proceeds to pull out his own personal lube, squeeze out three globs of it and then drops his pants. Okie, dokie. He then tells us that we will all be "isolating his testicles" and doing a rectal exam on him. Isolating his testicles? That doesn't sound pleasant. He then demonstrates, on himself, the "scissor method." Here's his instructions, and I quote, "Use your left hand to scoop the testicle and make a scissor-like motion with your right to push excess skin down and pull the testicle away from the penis." Okay, I know I don't have many men reading this, but come on. Doesn't it make you cringe to think of a scissor maneuver and testicles? Then we proceed to the rectal exam. All goes well until we starts having a discussion with me while my finger is still in his butt. At one point I'm like, "Would you like me to remove my finger?" "Oh no," he says, "go ahead and feel around." When we enter the next room, we walk in to see an old man sitting on a stool with no pants/underwear on reading a newpaper and drinking coffee. Just like it is completely normal to have a roomful of people see you without clothes. This room was the "genital exam" room. It went off without a hitch except for when he asked me to clip my fingernails. The next two stations we were supposed to just do the whole exam from start to finish. These mock exams were a little unrealistic in that the men were giving us pointers on whether or not we were feeling their prostate and how to maneuver their testicles. All and all though and interesting way to spend a Saturday morning. I joke about it, but really it is pretty nice that these guys volunteered for this so that I wasn't practicing all of this for the first time on a real patient.
Sunday: Not much too exciting. Did buy a new painting for my living room. It was originally going to go in the bedroom, but when I got it home it just looked better in the living room. Now my living room smells like canvas/paint/wood. It's interesting, I never really thought about the fact that I would be able to smell the canvas like that having it hanging over the couch. It's not a bad odor though.
Monday: Well, it's now that I think about what I was going to say about Monday it sounds a little silly but here goes. There's this person in my class who basically had a nervous breakdown and is going through a lot of emotional problems. S/he is extremely quiet and not very good with people and not sure that medical school is what s/he wants to do. So I've been talking to him/her about it. Basically, s/he wants the psychiatrist to tell them exactly how to be more confident and outgoing and give him/her drugs to make them feel better. I told M (that's much easier) that wasn't realistic. That right now it's more important to get through this crisis and then work on social and communication skills. I also said some other stuff but won't bore you with that. After seeing the psychiatrist M said they told her exactly what I had said. I guess my point is that this is making me think that I am good at this and should go into psychiatry? I'm still not sure but this is the "specialty of the week" for me now.
Tuesday: I finally break 100 in my bowling league. I know, that isn't that great but it is very exciting for me. I bowled by best game ever.
Today: Practiced acupunture on each other. It was actually kind of neat. I could really feel heat where the needles were placed. It's funny how the Chinese seem at first to go against all of Western medical teachings but they really work in some cases. I think people are too quick to reject alternative medicines.
I'll stop here before I ramble on too much.
posted by Janet @ 6:34 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:44 PM,
Katie said…
You rock my world Janet. I love reading about testes.
At 8:55 AM,
readhead said…
Forget VH1 and their show "The Best Week Ever"!! Janet, your post definetly describes the 'Best Week Ever'!!
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